How to fix Long Distance Relationship Depression
Sustaining a long-distance relationship is difficult. The countdown to when you will see your partner next takes center stage, and so really does the unrecognized battle many couples experience: long-distance relationship depression. This is that nagging weight that slowly creeps into your chest, that feeling of loneliness that materializes after your video chat, and the worried racing thoughts and that little voice in your head that plants doubt. You are not alone. In this guide, we will take some time to discuss practical and emotionally charged methods to deal with depression, deepen your emotional bond, and care for your mental health within your long-distance relationship. Both your relationship and your well-being matter. Understanding Long-Distance Relationship Depression It all starts the same way. An ache at the end of the phone call, a sense of missing something on a daily basis. The first measure of comprehending long-distance relationship depression is to understand how to navigate the loss. It represents more than simply missing someone; it can feel like a deep sadness and loneliness that can affect your sleep, eating patterns, and motivation levels. Many partners find they end up riding the emotional wave of missing their love and the pain of being apart while longing for the love they have for the distance that exists between them. The Emotional Impact of Distance We may talk often about the pain of missing someone, but we overlook the emotional toll of distance over time. It’s the sadness that strikes when you see a couple holding hands while walking together in a park. It’s finding yourself eating alone again for yet another night, with a phone propped up watching an old show, and sadness creeps in. This never-ending low-grade sadness in long-distance love can lead to what many term long distance relationship depression, the sense of being in a suspended state of gray. You may start to notice feelings of emptiness and a loss of interest in your own life, and part of the reason for this is that a tremendous source of your joy is physically located miles away. This additional layer of sadness can lead to a cycle where you start to isolate and retreat from friends and hobbies, isolated even further as a result. It is important to realize that these feelings of fatigue and heaviness are direct feelings of the absence of your partner. Recognizing the Signs of Depression How can you tell if it’s a bad moment or something more damaging? Taking the time to identify the signs of depression can have a serious impact on your issues. Pay attention to your own mood and behavior, especially when changes become habitual. Are you getting ticked off more often? Are you getting upset over things that aren’t that serious? Have you lost interest in things you used to enjoy? Observe any changes to your sleep — are you sleeping more, needing naps, able to sleep, but still not feeling rested? Likewise, note changes in your appetite. With regard to your relationship, there are several key indications of depression. You may start to dread your nightly calls instead of going into those calls in anticipation of the connection, or you may start to feel you can’t have a conversation where you feel emotionally present and connected. You may even notice that your partner is starting to withdraw from their communication with you in texts or calls, and/or their voice is not present as warmly as before. When you can recognize some early signs of depression, you can open up to be fully compassionate and turn towards one another rather than away. It means that you can look at each other with compassion and say, “wow, I can see that this is really hard on both of us, we are going to face this together.” The Role of Communication in Long Distance Relationship Effective Communication Strategies Building emotional intimacy is about more than small talk. Plan a “date night” when you call each other and devote this time directly to one another. Perhaps you could watch a movie at the same time, or play a game online together. Also, in your effort to communicate openly and honestly, try to be “I feel” buckets instead of “You never” buckets. For example, you could say something like, “I feel a little lonely today and talking with you makes me feel better.” Share the details with your partner, no matter how small, to help break the day down. Practicing a bit of virtual intimacy makes physical being apart easier. And remember you are not just hearing but listening. Validating someone’s feelings is a big deal. Speak something as simple as, “I totally get why you would feel like that.” By doing this, you both have access to a safe space where each person feels seen and heard, which really helps as both of you navigate the distance and woes of being apart. Navigating Communication Barriers and Misunderstandings Let’s be honest – communicating in long-distance relationships is hard. A simple text can be taken the wrong way, and delays can anxiously anticipate a response. What helps and solves communication challenges is being proactive and problem solving. First, be prepared to recognize it is okay to use technology when the technology does not cooperate. Have a Plan B. Once you feel like a text conversation is becoming heated, be aware of it and switch to a call and/or video chat. Secondly, have boundaries and expectations. Discuss what apps you will use and offer your schedule, so they aren’t feeling neglected or ignored. When problems arise and misunderstandings occur, take an extra breath and be curious instead of accusatory. Instead of “Why didn’t you reply to my text?” Try “Hey, I saw I texted you and you didn’t reply, everything okay?” Curiosity, versus accusation, diffuses some of the defensive feelings in conflict and builds resilience. Maintaining That Essential Emotional Connection Maintaining an Emotional Bond Keeping the flame lit takes some creativity and effort! You can surprise your … Read more